Across the street there is a grey roof which covers a porch in blue which meets of course, a white picket fence. Car parked in the drive. Streets are empty at one thirty. Downstairs there is a Anonymous meeting of some sort going on. The two seat sofa is covered in stain and the reviews on the internet are the worst I have ever read. Apparently the place has been "redone" recently, and the outside doesnt look bad but once inside your room it is a Bukowski or Waits nightmare (or dream come true depending whose lense you are looking through).
I wont pretend Ive never been somewhere like this before. And for $200 a week, its a pretty expensive slum. Being that is about what my income is a week, this isn't going to last long and really, Ive no other place to go (until the next pay check arrives). I know I am smart and capable and if I did have the capital to start my own business, itd be better than the next guys. Thats not why Im here. Ive spent too much money on drink and weed but thats not it either. Ive been chasing that thing. That thing that anyone who writes, paints, sings, composes, shoots film, what have you, chases. The thing that makes you need to connect with your human race on another level. To shake people out of their me, me, me mentality and turn them on to what brings us together. The shot in the arm that makes us understand our condition here, so it is wholly understood in an instant though you never saw it coming. Not some script from a family television show, but chasing something that is life-altering. It can be a wormhole and it is certainly fleeting, but thats why I find it important to hunt.
Once youve been bitten, theres no going back. I got hip to it early. Thats part of the problem. No matter what state you may find me in, Im glad this course chose me. Its an amazing thing being in a room with your friends and all of a sudden, something that didnt exist before has come out the ether and enveloped you all and you all know something undeniable just happened. It took you over for a moment. Every part of you felt it. Im 34 and people tell me to get my shit together all the time. Everyone has life advice for me. I have some for you. Do something with your life that makes me feel as good as I do when those moments strike. And as the band gets better and better, it happens more and more. Im not living hard because I feel like artists need to suffer. I have a hard time calling myself an artist. Its not that hard. It just takes time. It has its ups and downs surely. I dont know why I felt the need to write this. In this dump of a room I read Patti Smiths "Just Kids", recorded some music, found some old songs and walked to the beach every day to get some fresh air and perspective and exchanged pleasantries with alot of genuine people struggling with things I do not fully understand. Not bad really.
I started a KICKSTARTER for my band WREATHS to make our debut record the way we want to do it, not the cheapest way. To start a boutique record label that eventually will enable us to put out someone elses the right way, & leads to someone elses... ala DISCHORD RECORDS or MERGE or TROUBLEMAN. To work with people we respect, on equipment that took great care to make. We are not going to let any detail slip by.
If you have $15 in your account and we can find 700 or so people like you who want to help too, then as they say, we are in business. If it doesnt happen, we will still make a record. Itll just take alot longer but eventually, we will get it on wax.
With love,
S
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